i'm stupid.
i'm brainless.
i'm retarted.
i'm crazy.
i'm mad
i'm useless.
i'm careless.
i'm unlucky.



there's more than those. you might say it's one of those days i'm depressed. yes i am. i am very very depressed. so what? no one cares.

i've flunked or will flunk almost all of my subjects. you say. it's okay. next time would be better, yes i know. but it's not the next time that matters. it's this time. i've studied. i've been attentive during lessons. i've copied whatever i need to. and WHY THE HELL do i still get those types of marks. it's not fair. NOT FAIR AT ALL! i've tried. i really did. i even studied. but why why why is it that i get those marks. i hate it! I HATE IT. it's like those who sleep in class. dont listen. dont copy are like getting MUCH better. they can still pass. i hate this. and now when my parents see my results. what will they say? as usual. well no matter what i get. i will never please them. forget it. i feel like screaming. but i gotta keep it all in me.

it's one of those days when:
ihatemyself.
ihatemyself.
ihatemyself.
ihatemyself.
ihatemyself.
ihatemyself.
ihatemyself.
ihatemyself.
ihatemyself.
ihatemyself.

no one really cares.
i might be suffering from depression.

deceptions.

12:19 AM

do you sometimes wonder what life is all about? do you dometimes wonder where you came from? do you wonder where you are going after you die? wondering whether there is a life after death? do you ever question if God really loves you and is he watching over you? do you ever wonder whether or not there is a God who created you and this world and all that is in it? have you ever thought why there is so much sorrow and suffering int he world? did you ever ask yourself if there is real, true happiness in life for you? do you wonder if there is any way that you can call on God to help you overcome your troubles and worries and problems?

well if you do wonder about these things then you will learn that God loves you. he does care what happens to you. God does wants you to be well, prosperous and happy.

I MAY ALWAYS KNOW GOD LOVES ME.
Dear God above, Thou art mighty over all the earth and all the sea and all the heavens and all that in them is. Thou seest all and knowest all.
And yet, Dear God, mighty as Thou art, I know that Thou lookest down upon me with eyes filled of love and friendliness and of understanding. I can see Thy dear, kind face smiling there!
For Thou art my father. Thou lovest me and Thou watcheth over me. This i know dear God, and i thank Thee with all my heart.
Please , dear Father above, help me always to have this child-like trust and faith in Thee. Whenever times are dark and troubled, whenever i am afraid or hurt, help me to remember that Thou art there to help me.
Help me, Father to understand Thy laws of Life and to live by them always - for i know, dear God if i do, then thou will reward me with all the glorious health and happiness all the joys and abundance of blessings that are Thy will for me and for all Thy children.
In the name of Thy love for me, Dear Father, and in tge name of Thy blessed son, Jesus Christ, I ask it.
- Amen

okay if you're wondering what's above. it's a prayer. cos maybe some people feel that God doesnt love them or something. you can pray for others too. :) i read it from a book. and i thought it's kinda meaningful. so here it is. okay back to studying f&n! that's so super boring. well it's the last paper anyway. STUDY HARD! =)

4:07 PM

ash wednesday. LENT. maundy thursday. good friday and EASTER SUNDAY!

jesus christ is risen today. ALLELUIA!=) happy easter all! lol. the night's weather's great for sleeping! haha. morning was extremely cold. late morning and aftertoon was HOT HOT HOT! and night's cool! yayy! =/ haha. anyway. had the easter carnival in church. free food&games. legion's stall was crash cans. haha. not too bad. just that we had to keep picking the balls up and stacking up the cans. luckily we had NICE parents to help up and my FF. beside our stall but of course we lost some balls. haha. luckily we had the BROTHERS of some and of course ourselves to help pick the balls up. haha. okay then i was like kinda mesmerized by this young boy. haha. i wont say who it is. cos MANY of you people from church knows him! cos he's the bro of someone. LOL. well HE SMILED AT ME! :DD haha.

geog test tmr and. i've not studied! LOL. i couldnt put anything into my brains. i am too sleepy! haha. i will definately flunk.
combined science and combined humans. but i've tried to study for both! haha. but i guess it didnt work. oh well. better start studying for N's! i'll upload the pictures some other time.
for now i'll be going to sleep and dreaming of that mesmerizing smile. haha. NOT LUST. just mesmerized. =) GOOD NIGHT ALL!

10:32 PM

okay physics paper is a sure fail! lol. didnt study and also was too tough. lol. practically everyone left it blank. haha. still got 3 more papers. STUDY STUDY STUDY! lol. pictures update.

international friendship day. costumes&more costumes. lol

yana.me.joyce

english princess

keith! :)

i love mai!

jia li & keith. haha.

best of luck for those taking exams& test!

11:32 AM

english paper today. SA1! i think i'm so gonna fail it la. the composition was tough! 6 titles. like dont even know how to start and slowly write. but i did it eventually! yay. okay next paper2. was tougher than paper1! the close passage. didnt really understand. left 2 blanks. and then compre. passage B! OMG. didnt even understand the passage and the questions! WTH! i am so dead. summary. so crazy. couldnt be that bothered. but finished it anyway. hopefully a miracle happens! tmr's sports day! SEAN&BERNARD's running! good luck both! must win okay! oh ya. cher, kylie, sean and kokwee running for NCC! so i will definately give my utmost support! i LOVE ALL WHO ARE RUNNING! lol. i miss my son! XD.

8:02 PM